Monday, February 11, 2008

Mail Forwards-Chain Letters and Amber Alerts

What size of brain could you possible have if you think you will have good luck if you forward an animated funny to every person you have in your address book? Don't you realize there are viruses and worms loading in many of them? The only good luck you might be lucky enough to have is that you loaded an up-to-date virus protection product on your machine and that you left the firewall item checked when you started your computer up.

The bad luck is that I want to kick your ass for every email address you left exposed in that forward (I won't be sending it on but most of the other idiots you converse with will). Not a one will think to check it for accuracy or delete those exposed emails.

There are places to check on line to see if an Amber alert is true. One of the best sites is Snopes. Check out all those other forwards you get especially the ones who tell you a doctor affirmed it , or they saw it on Good Morning America. In all the years on the internet, only one I read was proved true.


Send me any more of that crap that I have to click to open because it's been forwarded 10 or more times and I am blocking your address from ever contacting me again. You don't respect me or my time if you need to send them. Clean up the forwards and send the original jokes or photos. (I love a good joke!!) But if it tells me to send to 10 best friends (I don't have 10-I have one because best means ONE), or if it's a petition (they aren't legal) or if you saw it on Oprah (she makes me nauseous) and you haven't checked it on Snopes (so why would you forward it if you had checked), I will immediately delete it.

And when I admonish you and tell you the correct protocol for email (especially as I have no clue who you are and why are you sending me emails anyways), you tell me we are all friends on the internet (or groups-again, I am not in any of your groups). And you send the email again (not reading the rules I just sent you) and the emails are all exposed-again! F**king stupid people!!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen to that sister! Holy shit that pisses me off too. My mom does it even though I've taught her how to clip her emails. I got one last night that had FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!

And if one of my aunts sends me another "walking Jesus" or other "inspirational" email, I will really be "inspired" to block their email addresses too!

Anonymous said...

You got that one right on the money...here's what all my "FORWARDING" friends get...funny but there's a lot of truth to it.




~SUMMARY OF MY LAST YEAR ON THE COMPUTER~
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers get answered only if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans .
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5 p.m. this afternoon, and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin s beautician. Have a wonderful day.
Oh, by the way, a South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Have a great day.

Anonymous said...

This is a little off topic but was really ticks me off are the people who are smart enough to make virus's, worms, and trojans!!! If your that damn smart, how about doing something to better the World instead of making my little place on this earth a living hell! I have been trying to rid my computer since yesterday from some trojan that keeps putting popups on my computer telling me that my computer is infected and I need to do a "free" scan. It down-right pisses me off!!!

Jan Scholl said...

You probably dont have a trojan-those are just scare tactics from pop up ads. Do you use IE or what for a browser? It and Google tool bar have pop up blockers. Are you up to date with your paid virus scan? If so, run a scan and see what it says. it you are truly infected, go to the site of your virus protection software and enter your problem and there should be a removal tool. There are legit free virus protection out there. but spending a bit each year (you usually get three computers covered and its often free after rebate) is well worth the time. dont skimp on virus protection if you dont have too. Mine also included fraud monitoring and some other stuff.and it was free after rebate and all three of our computers were taken care of.

Anonymous said...

It was a trogan call zlob - nasty thing too. I use Norton Antivirus and keep it updated at all times. Their scans along with spybot didn't catch it. I did end up getting rid of it finally but it sure was a pain trying to.

Anonymous said...

It was a trogan call zlob - nasty thing too. I use Norton Antivirus and keep it updated at all times. Their scans along with spybot didn't catch it. I did end up getting rid of it finally but it sure was a pain trying to.

Anonymous said...

Weird that it missed it-NOrton is what I use too and it pops up right away with a fix. My dumbass hubby would click on crap in Yahoo just to see what it was all the time. Guess who has a limited account on the desktop now?