This is the time of year for multiple celebrations. Graduations, weddings, hell even divorces. While I am not a wild and woolly partyier, I still like to lift a glass of wine, nibble a little cheese, even some nasty onion dip with celery. But something has changed in recent years.
Last month, there were numerous graduations but no announcements or invites. There was the offhanded "of course you will be there". But no time was given, no date and no enthusiasm. This past week I was asked by one acquaintance-so what did you give the big boy? I am known for my very unique and yes, very very generous gifts. I spend days and weeks seeking out the perfect gift to give. But this time I didn't. Was it too much to spend 42 cents and a typed up sheet of paper with the incidentals for the party? A postcard would have worked too. Even an email. But none came.
I overheard some talkers saying how they got all the food donated and the DJ too. And boy did big boy rake in the bucks. And he wasn't even around for more than 15 minutes of his own party. Nice host.
So I find myself in a similar dilemma coming up in July. I got a call tonight telling me "I hope you come to blondie's to-do. I didn't send you an invite because it was too expensive and well, I know you always come to these things and everyone always loves your gifts". Um, I don't think so. Again, 42 cents is too expensive? So was the 15o dollar gift I had picked out. She will now get a simple hand made card and that is it. I can play cheap too. Supposedly, blondie just kept adding guests on top of guests (she was paying for none of her own soiree) and most of the invitees, she barely knew. Some she hadn't seen since she was 3 or 4. But me, she saw a lot and emailed with and hell, I paid for her fucking catered shower food when her mom had to file for bankruptcy.
I am tired of this. I love buying gifts and surprising people with things I know they want but can't ofter afford. To see eyes light up and sparkle over a small but significant present-it's grand. I myself hate to have anyone buy me anything at all-not even lunch. I never was good at feeling I deserved it. So maybe I get my satisfaction by doing the opposite. But it's because I want to, not because you know I will.
I have decided to save my money and find a local woman's shelter that can use the cash to save a deserving soul. Because blondie and big boy, I think are already lost in their own faux greatness.
1 comment:
It is totally rude to just 'assume' they'd be getting something without even sending an invite. I'm with you - no invite, no gift.
I guess it's better, though, than what my ex-friend did to me. He decided I could not afford to come to his wedding, so he simply did not invite me; then he had the balls to tell me why not.
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